10 Stages of Every Book Club

1. The Group Chat Check-In
“Are we still on for tonight?”
Followed by a flurry of GIFs, one last-minute cancellation, and someone who forgot it was even happening.

2. The Arrival Ritual
Every member enters holding something: a bottle of wine, leftover cookies, or that one person who is armed with only apologies that they are empty-handed.

3. The Waiting for That One Friend
She’s coming. She promises. Everyone waits politely while discreetly checking their watches. Finally, she arrives.

4. The Sheepish Confessions
Someone admits they didn’t finish. Another confesses they didn’t start. A third proudly says they read four other books instead and just “skimmed the summary.” Legends.

5. The Book is Mentioned (Briefly)
A noble attempt is made: “So... what did everyone think of the ending?”
A few scattered insights. One person goes deep. Another is scrolling Goodreads to find a quote.

6. Heated Literary Debate (That Has Nothing to Do with the Book)
Suddenly it’s plot vs character, print vs Kindle, Taylor Swift: literary poet or pop propaganda?
Things get intense.

7. The Spoiler Slip-Up
Someone ruins the next book on the list. Someone else brings up a twist from a totally unrelated thriller. Chaos. Betrayal. Bookish outrage.

8. The Tangent Spiral
The convo derails entirely: vacation plans, neighborhood gossip, 3 minutes on skincare, 20 minutes on the latest murder doc.
Wait—wasn't this about The Midnight Library?

9. The Regroup & Book Selection
A frantic scroll through phones to vote on the next pick. Someone suggests a 700-page epic. Someone else begs for something “short and trashy.” A compromise is made: Reese's Book Club.

10. The Goodbye That Takes 45 Minutes
Coats are on. Then someone remembers something hilarious. Another wine pour. More snacks. A whispered side convo.
Eventually, everyone leaves—promising to finish the next one. (They won’t.)